


A Heart Smashed Twice Takes Twice As Long to Heal

by jadencross



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Body Image, Fluff and Angst, Galra Keith (Voltron), Hangst, Hunk will probably be the most ooc because we know almost nothing about him, I'm gonna be honest this is totally just so I can work through my own problems by projecting them, Idk if these are tags but whatever, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Langst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mind Meld, Pangst, Panic Attacks, Past Mind Control, Past Torture, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Team Bonding, but don't let that tag fool you, everybody gets an arc, everyone is angsty, except Coran and allura, hunk has anxiety, kangst, onto my children so, shangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-16 18:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9284150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadencross/pseuds/jadencross
Summary: Being a paladin is tough. Not only does Keith have to fight huge monsters and defend the whole universe practically on the daily, but he has to use a sentient, robotic lion-man to do it. Not to mention all the political stuff he (Allura) has to deal with. It's not only hard, but entirely convoluted and messy.And if it wasn't messy before, Pidge's calculations for some computer project drifting into his brain while he was just trying to enjoy his space cereal only made it worse.





	

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry so much for the false first chapter! I just had built up so much stuff it would take me forever to get it back up! And sorry for it being out so long! I got caught up in binge watching RWBY and had to get out of that mindset before moving forward and then I got my plague of the semester (I have the immune system of a dead rat, so I get sick enough to last a whole week once a semester lol). But I'm better now! And I just ate 10 avacados, so I should be healthy for another month at least. 
> 
> On the subject of season 2, I have only seen it once so far. Compared to my 19 viewing of season 1 I feel like a slacker. But who has time to rewatch and write at the same time? Not me. So, to make my life easier, I'm just going to ignore various parts of season 2, but not others. It's basically season 1 but Keith knows he's Galra. There are other parts, but not many. Sorry guys. 
> 
> Anyway, it's here at last, the first chapter! Enjoy!

Keith was sore.

Uncomfortably sore.

Keith cracked his eyes, feeling the sleep on his lashes fighting to keep him asleep like the rest of his body. Keith sat up, groggily reaching for his alarm. He finally got it turned off after about the third try. He scrubbed his face, trying to wake up enough that he didn't look like he'd been up all night training.

Which, coincidentally, he had been.

Yawning, he slowly got out of bed, looking at himself in the mirror and fluffing his hair slightly before heading down to breakfast. He preferred his hair fluffy because it irritated the snot out of Lance. Keith smiled slightly at the thought of Lance going on another one of his tirades.

It felt normal when Lance was yelling at him, though Keith had noticed the heat behind the words dwindling as of late. It made the fact that his whole world had been flipped on its head a little easier to bare.

Keith trudged into the dining room, watching the faces around him with tired eyes. Lance and Pidge were missing, and Shiro looked worse off than Keith. Other than that, Hunk’s bright smile and Allura and Coran’s light talking made the morning warm with familiarity.

Keith stretched, taking a seat opposite Shiro at the table. Hunk slid him a bowl of what Keith decided to call space cereal as he took a seat next to him.

“Thanks,” Keith said, nodding towards Hunk before digging in.

“No problem,” Hunk said happily. Keith noted that Hunk’s eyes kept flickering back to the door every few seconds. Keith opened his mouth, about to ask if something was wrong, but the door slid open.

“You _have_ to eat, Pidge.” Lance’s tired voice preceded him into the room. Keith watched drowsily as Lance pushed her practically-limp body through the door. “If you don’t eat, then you’ll never be able to figure out that flux...whatever.”

“I _can’t_ stop until I figure out what’s wrong with it,” Pidge said as Lance sat her down in the chair beside Shiro. Her actions didn’t really match her voice. “The flux regulation and extraction parameters are way off and I gotta figure it out.”

“I’m sure it’s not important enough that you should put off eating,” Lance said, sitting next to her.

Pidge looked him straight in the eye. “If it goes out, we could die.”

“Well then eat before you go fix it,” Lance said, glaring back. “You’re useless on an empty stomach.”

Their battle of wills continued a few moments longer before Pidge sighed loudly, falling back into her chair and sinking a little in the seat. Lance smiled in victory, turning away from her and catching the bowl Hunk slid him. Pidge’s came to rest in front of her. She blinked at if for a few seconds before she started digging in.

Keith looked away then, focusing on his bowl of cereal and trying to _not_ look tired. The others carried on, talking as usual about random things varying from plans of attack to future diplomatic missions to the startling number of marshmallows Shiro could stick in his mouth. Keith chewed, trying to figure out if he could lighten the bags under his eyes with sheer willpower.

_If the flux combustors are similar to jet engines at home then this should be easy_ , he heard Pidge say. _Hunk said that he had modified the quantum modulators, so it should be easy for me to reprogram the astral spheres using English systems not Altean, but there’s still some sort of malfunction. Maybe if I learned Altean? No, I don’t want to face the bear again._

“Pidge, shut up,” Keith grumbled, looking up from his bowl of cereal.

_I’m too tired to be listening to your scientific stuff,_ he thought to himself.

“Well I wouldn’t be rambling about the ‘scientific stuff’ if _Lance_ hadn’t pulled me away from fixing the problem!” Pidge huffed, crossing her arms.

They both paused. Keith slowly looked up to see Pidge staring back at him.

“I didn’t say that last part out loud,” Keith said after a moment.

“I didn’t say the first part out loud,” Pidge replied, eyes wide.

They both stared for another second before Keith broke eye contact to look at his bowl of cereal.

_God damn lion magic._

Allura stood up suddenly, her chair crashing to the floor and causing everyone to jump. Keith whipped his gaze up to see her eyes practically glowing.

“You have advanced so fast!” she said. “I can’t believe you’re to the third stage already!”

“The third what?” Lance said. He glanced over at the two of them and took in their shocked faces. “What just happened?”

“I...,” Pidge said, shakily. “I think that Keith and I just communicated telepathically.”

Lance just stared at them. “What.”

Allura practically squealed, turning on her heel and quickly rushing off towards the door. “Get dressed in your suits quickly and meet me on the training deck. We must train now before the door closes.”

Keith watched her go, shock still in his system. He didn’t ask for this. He just wanted to go back to bed.

* * *

 

Keith got dressed as fast as he could, but the feeling of dread followed him the whole way. He had always been a very private person. He tolerated the bond while forming Voltron because it was necessary to defeat the Galra. He didn’t understand why this would be. Constantly hearing the thoughts of the other paladins? No thanks. He would rather give up flying for the rest of his life.

_Same_.

Keith jumped when he heard Pidge’s voice.

_Stop that._

_I don’t know how_ , Pidge replied. _But I would like you to know that I can totally feel your brooding from here._

_We’re apparently mentally connected now,_ Keith deadpanned. _Get used to it._

Keith finished getting dressed as he felt her huff, fastening the last buckle in place. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against the cold metal of the wall. He sighed, trying to see if he could somehow think without thoughts. Or he could just not think. That would fix this.

Keith suddenly bolted upright. Would this new thing involve emotions? In Voltron, he could normally feel small traces of the others’ emotions.

Dread filled his system. He could hardly understand his own, how was he supposed to deal with the emotions of three other teenagers and an adult who suffers from PTSD in his head all the time?

_Oh, God_ , Pidge said helpfully. Based on the tightness in Keith’s chest that appeared with the words, he figured his theory about emotions was correct. Great.

Keith groaned as he left his room, trudging down to the hallway. He just hoped that they could learn how to manage his thoughts. As he entered the training room, he discovered that he only beat Shiro there.

_That’s weird…_

_What is?_ Pidge looked up to him from across the room.

Keith looked at her before glancing at the door. _Shiro’s always here first._

Keith saw Pidge’s eyes follow his. He felt something gently pull at his chest. Keith grit his teeth.

So it begins.

“Man, I can’t wait until we can talk telepathically,” Lance said, drawing Keith and Pidge out of their heads. Keith glanced over to see the other boy’s eyes shining as he spoke to Hunk. “I mean, that’s like the coolest thing ever! This Voltron thing has just gotten better and better!”

“I mean,” Hunk said, twiddling his thumbs, “I guess... But I would rather have privacy.”

“Same,” Keith and Pidge said in unison.

Hunk and Lance looked at them in surprise.

“It’d be so useful on missions, though,” Lance continued. “I mean, if someone was in a position where they couldn’t talk, it’d be great. And we’d know the status of those around us better and faster.” Lance smiled, his eyes distant. “I mean, it just seems like it’d help a lot.”

“It also might hinder a lot,” Pidge grumbled. “I don’t want four other people’s thoughts in my head while I’m on a mission. It’s distracting.”

“Which is why we train.” Allura’s voice drew the Paladin’s attention. She was wearing her suit, the bun atop her head as perfect as ever. Coran stood at her side, his arms behind his back and a smile on his face.

She opened her mouth to continue speaking, but the sound of a door opening cut her off. They all turned to see Shiro entering, his gaze fixated on the floor. Keith studied him for a second, before turning back as Allura began to speak.

“This most recent revelation is wonderful news for us!” Allura said, her eyes studying Shiro before shining again. “You all are progressing much faster than expected.”

Coran nodded, bringing his hands up to stroke his moustache. “It had taken the previous paladins a long time to figure out how to enter phase three. But you all have done it in only a few months!” Coran laughed, placing his hands on his hips. “You all and your lions must get along swimmingly!”

“However, it puts a lot of stress on the relations of the paladins when only a few of them have reached stage three,” Allura continued. “So, today, we are going to work on getting you all to connect. That way, all of you can learn how to deal with and use the new mental connection at the same time.”

Coran waved his hand and a screen appeared before him. He tapped a few things before the screen disappeared. There was a noise from the wall to their left, and the three-pronged helmets they had used back when they were trying to form Voltron slowly floated out. They stopped in front of the paladins.

“Each of you grab a helmet and take a seat,” Allura said. “We’re going to get the rest of you to connect.”

Keith shared a glance with Pidge, seeing and feeling the dull look on her face matched his.

_Great._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm completely incapable of starting a Voltron fic not in Keith's POV. IDK why tho. 
> 
> Anyway, for those of you returning to me, or who have read He Sleep in the Sky of Ice, you probably know that Lance is my son. I would die for him. But, unfortunately, I also like hurting him. However, this fic won't be like the last one. I like writing my characters like real people, and that involves making them think about themselves (because thats the one person you always have to be around). Therefore, this fic will give each character an arc. For my Lance fans, his story comes last. Up until that point, he won't be around a lot. Like, almost background character.
> 
> But not to worry!! It'll be worth it! All of this is important, so please bare with me! I know our boy has some insecurities already but I gotta make them more pronounced, yah feel?The payoff will be great, I promise! But It's gonna be psychological. I'm gonna make sure to tag things, so watch them. I will put notes at the beginning of those chapters, too, but they're going to be a long time coming. 
> 
> The reason I say this is because this one will be long. Like, 39+ chapters long. It's gonna more than double that of He Sleeps. The last time I wrote something that had more than 39 chapters it took me 3 years. This probably won't take that long, tho. And I have another fic in the works. So a lot of writing. I'm going to die. After this first chapter, I'm going to wait until a write a few as buffer chapters and try to get to a point where I can update weekly (having a schedule made me feel like I had my life together. I liked it). So get excited for that! 
> 
> As for that other fic, I'm not gonna say much, but the title is Soulmates. And it's an au. 20 points to anyone who can guess which one. It's not as easy as it looks. 
> 
> That's all for now, and, once again, sorry for the foux first chapter! 
> 
> See you next chapter! (Or before then, over at my tumblr: jadencrosss.tumblr.com)


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